A Faith that God can use our weakness

On Sunday morning for the past few weeks our pastor has been teaching from Hebrews 11--the hall of faith chapter.  This past Sunday's message especially touched my heart.  He was speaking about the faith of the Judges:  Gideon, Barak, Samson & Jephthah.  The one that really spoke to me was Gideon--he had a faith that God could use him even despite his weakness.

You probably know the story, when Gideon was preparing for battle he and his men were having to fight against 135,000 men.  God told Gideon that he had too many men and was to tell all of the men who were afraid to return home.  22,000 men left and only 10,000 remained.  God once again told Gideon that he had too many men (knowing that if they won the victory that they would say it was of their own doing and not give God the glory).  God told Gideon to take his men down to the river and test them....see who put their faces into the water to drink vs. those who were cautious and knelt down to drink the water.  Those that put their faces into the water were to go home--that was 9,700 men.  Only 300 men remained! 300 vs. 135,000--not the best odds.

God then told Gideon that He would use those 300 men!  He did, they blew the trumpets, broke the pitchers and shined their torches and shouted "The sword of the Lord and of Gideon".  The enemy who didn't realize what was happening, fought amongst themselves and killed each other and the battle was won.  (that's a very short version of the story)

In thinking about this story there have been many times in my life where I have been fearful.  I've been fearful about my health, fearful about all the "what if's.  I then realized that throughout my cancer journey I've been a lot like Gideon.  I know that I have a battle to face, and I have been trying my best to do everything, in a sense, in my own power to try to kill the cancer in my body (surgery, chemo, radiation, supplements, diet, etc...).  Not that doing any of these things are wrong, but God showed me this past week that if I did the chemo and was healed, or if I changed my diet and was healed that I would probably not give God the full credit He deserves-I would say "the chemo worked".  He slowly has been "reducing my army"....getting me down to the point where if He chooses to heal my body from cancer that I will only give Him the glory and Him alone!  A true test of my faith.  A faith that God can, and will use me in all my weaknesses.  

"My grace is sufficient for you for my faith is made perfect in weakness"

ATT: Prayer Warriors

I'm sitting in the hospital getting my chemo and thought I would give you another update.  I had my scheduled follow up with my doctor on Wednesday and the appointment went well.  My cancer levels have gone up just a bit (he thinks it is due to them leveling off since they have dropped so much over the past few months).  He told me it was nothing to be concerned about but that we would continue to monitor the levels in case they do start to rise again.  I am scheduled for a CT scan on Monday (I normally have them every 3 months) so it is a perfect time for me to have another one to see what the cancer is doing now.  I'm asking all of my prayer warriors out there to pray that the Lord will bring complete healing in my body.  The Bible tells us that it takes only the faith of a mustard seed (but many times it is hard for me to have faith even that small).  My doctor has told me that there will always be "scar tissue" and/or tumors that are in my liver that will show up on a CT scan.  However, I serve the Great Physician who can, if He so chooses, to allow the CT scan to be free and clear of everything--tumors & scar tissue!! I'm asking all of you to continue to pray the Lord's will be done (but asking in faith that He will provide that miracle in my life).  My CT scan is scheduled for this coming Monday at 2:30pm.